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Roadkill? Nah, That Was Just a Landmine

Aug 13, 2013 -- 5:25pm

Tuesday, as you may know, is my least favorite day of the week, but nothing brightens up the worst weekday like another ridiculous story about Kanye West. See, Kanye is a special fellow; he’s kind of an idiot and extremely conceited, but not in such a way that makes me want to put him on blast like other idiots in the business *coughJustinBiebercough*. To the contrary, it actually just makes me chuckle and reminds me how you can find something magical anywhere you look in the world if you just approach it from the right angle.

Kanye recently purchased two $1.2 million armored vehicles for the safe transport of his family, which of course includes Kim Kardashian and their new little bundle of joy, baby girl North West. Just take a look at this bad boy:

You’ll recognize that as a Prombron Iron Diamonds by Dartz Motorz, if you’re into armored cars. These things are reportedly built to “withstand attacks from landmines and rocket-propelled grenades.” Considering the high level of RPG crime in America these days, I say good call Kanye. You can never be too careful when preparing for landmine-wielding lunatics trying to do you in. In addition to these tank SUVs, Kanye’s also gonna have body doubles for himself and Kim to throw off the paparazzi, which is a concern just a bit more grounded in reality.

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